Drowning
by Ceaselessly into the past
Summary: New version of 5x01, and begins from there and into Season 5. Stefan still in the safe. Silas still has an ex, but not a particularly phsychotic one. Everyone is still unsure of what has happened to the REAL Stefan Slavatore.
1. Chapter 1

When drowning, you feel like you're fighting to reach the top. You're trying to hold in your breath just to give you enough time to reach the surface where oxygen awaits you. But, you feel that your lungs are collapsing and then...you give up. Your weightless body is carried down to the deep below and you...die. The pain is gone and you are gone.

Stefan was hoping and begging the almighty God, The Lord himself, to help him. But, something as wholly, pure and good as Him would not help some awful creature of the night. A creature who resembled the Devil himself. Stefan wanted the pain to leave him, to make him wither and die. Stefan wishes away his immortality,he wants to die. So many times had been willing to give up and now he had his chance to. But, he had to suffer. He had literally felt the Atlantic Ocean water concave on his already not beating heart. He has to feel his ribs scrap against his empty stomach. He had to feel the bile rise up in his throat, crackling for an had to feel his own muscles become numb and weak, to feel his skin being ripped by the safe he was concealed in. Stefan had to stop screaming because he could not find his voice no longer. People say, that when you feel like everything is gone, nothing seems right, believe in something. Just one thing. There is always hope. But, for him, for the monster, there was none. the girl that he had once loved, who had loved him also but she also loved his brother. She was the one who turned him into this monster. This vampire. The truest love of his life chose his brother over him. His best friend is dead. His brother, his only remaining family, had betrayed him in so many ways. Nothing on the outside world was there for him anymore. _S_tefan had no hope anymore. He remembered something that Winston Chruchill had once said, "If you are going through Hell, keep going". What if, he had already been through Hell and he didn't want to keep going?

Silas savored the warm feeling of the human's blood. It sizzled down his throat, the finest of wines, the most intoxicating liquor. He bit down harder as the girl's nails dug deeper into his scalp. He sucked more and more, relishing the feel of human blood after so long. He could do without this horrible modern wrenching, that his prey had called "singing". His prey, the waitress from the bar, said this was one of her favorite songs. It sounded like the main singer was in anguish and practically yelling into the microphone about his Daddy issues. It was ruining his feeding time. After he felt full, he ripped his fangs from her flesh and brought his tongue out to catch a droplet of blood that had made it's way down his chin. The girl was heaving, caught between pain and pleasure. He had to admit, she wasn't a very..um...willing donor. Nothing a little compulsion couldn't fix though. Some blood oozed from the girl's neck, he believed her name was Tracy, neck. He leaned forward with a wicked grin on his face and reached out his tongue again to catch the slipping substance.

"Mmmm..." He murmured in satisfaction as she giggled like a little school girl. He found that quite annoying and was considering shutting her up again but she gasped. Not from his bite, because she had reached for her shirt to cover herself and her gaze held steadily to something in the doorway. He leaned away and spun himself over to see the figure. He smirked as he saw it was that blasted human, now immortal however, girl that had his shadow self wrapped around her little finger. His doppleganger loved this girl, though he didn't necessarily see the appeal. She was no match to HER doppleganger, Katerina Petrova, who was always dangerous and fun. She had reminded him a lot of HIS true love. But, as of later, she was no vampire anymore. A blood human, she was.

"Stefan!" She screeched as she saw the blood dripping down his fangs again. Also yelling at the half naked girl behind him. He grimaced from the use of his doppleganger's name, he still hadn't gotten used to being addressed by that name. Her face held a pinch of an unrecognizable idea of him and mostly hurtfulness. Silas had a hard time grasping why she had picked the other brother over his dopplesganger, because she clearly still held feeling towards Stefan Salvatore very close to her heart.

Then, he watched curiously, as her face turned into one of a hunter's. Her eyes ignited with veins that screamed for the taste of hot red blood, her fangs etched out from her gums and she clomped down hard on her mouth to keep from fully coming out. He smirked. "Would you like a taste, Helena?" He rasped, loving his new nickname for her, she never truly understood it. Elena was her true name but it was the shorter version of Helena and the name fit her well. Helena of Troy, she was doomed by love. Much like this girl, doomed by a live that had lasted for a century and will last for more and more centuries to come. He thought his new sense of humor was well done and he thought it was a good joke. She spoke between her fingers, that were covering her mouth now.

"You know I only drink from blood bags." She stated proudly, as if she was a Saint for what she was doing. Oh, believe me, Darling, you are far from a Saint with those fangs, he thought to himself with amusement. Tracy moaned from behind him, she had inclined form her laying position.

"Stefan, who is this girl?" She gestured to Elena, as if she was nothing. He could feel Elena's aura, she was tempted to actually bite the girl. That would be interesting, he thought. But, Tracy was beginning to truly annoy him. He leaned over to her and she smiled, thinking she was getting some "action" again. But, he just looked deeply into her eyes and felt his own pupils dilate.

"Go have a shower, you need one." He said, pronouncing each word throughly. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then cocked her head. "I think I need a shower." She said and shook herself, as if just waking up. She stood and walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower in a daze.

"Why do you call me Helena?" Elena now asked, after giving Tracy a death glare. Silas reached across the bed to grab his shirt with a self assured smirk on his face. He walked casually over to the small mirror that Stefan kept in his room. He ran his hand through his hair and looked satisfied with his regular physique. For centuries he had been morphing into multiple bodies and faces, but he was content to be finally back into his own body. Even if he wasn't living his true life, at least not yet. He turned to Elena in the doorway with a wicked smirk.

"It's your name, isn't it?" He asked her, trying to put a face of innocence on his features. She frowned sadly and twisted her eyebrows up in confusion. She was quite a beautiful creature, just like Katerina, but they wouldn't never live up to HER. "Stefan, what;s wrong with you? This isn't you. The Ripper is taking over, Stefan." She said, her voice was dripping with sadness and confusion.

Why didn't Stefan hate her? She treated and talked to him like they were the deepest lovers, but yet, she would get into his brother's bed at the end of the day. "Maybe, the Ripper in the true Stefan Salvatore, not the fake one who foolishly fell in love with you." He said and he saw the anguish on her face. Even Silas knew that Stefan was the worst vampire in the world. A vampire who considered himself a...a..."vegetarian", for he didn't drink human blood, only animal blood. He was never the Ripper. She looked appalled and deeply anguished, it didn't matter because the real Stefan was never coming back. He was somewhere deep in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean by now. They only thought it was Silas who was trapped. Oh, how wrong they were.

"Elena! Elena! Come on, we're going to be late for the Whitmore College orientation, if you don't move your little vampire ass!" A light hearted and very, very annoying voice that Silas had ever heard of, called through the attic hallway. The blonde wannabe vampire. Elena's best friend, what was her name? He thought it was Cora? Carey? No, Caroline. Apparently, she had made quite memorable friendship with his doppleganger also. She joined Elena in the doorway position and froze once she saw who Elena was talking to. Then she saw the blood that was still on his chin. Oh! How ungentlemanly of him, he must look improper a this moment. He laughed quietly to himself.

"Stefan?" Caroline asked, her voice was also in disbelief. "Hello, Caroline." He said, with his wicked grin plastered on his face.

"Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I have a very...tasty," flashed a sleazy smirk, "quest to attend to." He mock bowed his leave and entered the bathroom and shut the door. The running water blocked out the voices he found himself straining to hear with his supernatural hearing. He didn't care about Stefan Slavatore's worthless little friends. He only cared about getting his old life back and he can only get that by finding his one true love. He sensed that she was not far from him now. Soon, he would finally be the true Silas again.


	2. Chapter 2

The water sloshed around Stefan's lungs and he gasped for air. He never thought that a dead creature, like him, could ever find the need for the oxygen. He managed to get some of the water and bile out of his throat, but not much. He thought the the current had moved him and the coffin upside down, so his face was facing the sea floor. But, it doesn't matter because there was no gravity in the middle of the ocean. He had tried to close his eyes, to will himself to just give up. To just give into it, and die in his watery grave. But, for some reason, he couldn't. A new feeling had occurred to him that...that...God! He was starving! His fangs ached, his stomach not even to satisfied as the water fills it. Even if her was to get out of here, he would kill himself. He could imagine himself now, stalking painfully and slowly towards the closest town, his eyes turning blue and black, hungry veins hoping for a particular warm substances. Then, he would find the first person to come into his sixth sense boundaries and he would rip out their jugular and devour every bit of blood within them. Not even leaving one drop. He could feel the freshness, the fullness, the _greatness_, even right now. But, then he would imagine the regretfulness and the pain of the guiltiness for taking this person's innocent life just for his own foolish and selfish needs. Kill one's life to keep his own worthless life going. So, he vowed to himself, that if he ever did get out of this Hell box, he would kill himself or let himself starve to death. He would not kill another. He would not. But, little did he know that, his savor was not far from him.

"Elena said that you took a victim today. An innocent girl." He heard the smooth and baritone voice of Stefan's older brother. He stood in the same place Elena had stood this morning. Silas rolled his eyes. Why was everyone so annoying in this life? He turned around to face the other famous Salvatore brother.

"Don't worry, Damon, no one will her body." He said, as nonchalantly as one could when talking about a murdered girl. He had to keep his gross smile off his face as Damon's eyes blazed. "You killed her?!" His rage was extreme as he stepped closer to Silas, who he thought was his foolish little brother. This child should be careful where he stepped, Silas thought, I can kill him even before he could move. Snap his neck like a twig then stab him in the heart with a sharp stake. And he wouldn't have to deal with this boy who thought he was his father.

"What? You do it everyday." Silas said and Damon whipped him around. "I have control, Stefan. You don't. You kill and go on rampages and you can't stop until the whole town is under a vampire massacre." He spat form his mouth, his fangs were showing. He was furious.

"No need to be melodramatic, brother." He said, trying the word brother on for a size, he didn't like it. The word seemed to tick Damon off. His ticking time bomb had finally blowed. He full blow tackled Silas to the floor and straddled him in a death grip with his legs. He began to punch the living daylights out of him, his rage taking itself out on Silas's face. Through all of this, Silas managed to keep his wicked smile on his face. The brother did catch him off guard, he'll give him that. He was built and did throw a mean punch, but punches were unaffected for vampires. Silas had decided that Damon Salvatore was not important enough for him to kill him. All he did was find his strength and blasted him off of him and sent him flying into the bookcase on the other side of the room. Damon groaned in pain and slid down with the tumble of books to the floor. Silas stood up and began to wipe away the blood that was coming from his fresh cuts and broken nose.

He clicked his nose muscles back into place with a crack and then he felt all of his other cuts begin to heal as well. It was all from the human blood he had been so frequently consuming. Damon stood also, he seemed to be healing quite quickly himself. Silas knew that he usually drank form blood bags, just like his precious girlfriend Helena, but he also did enjoy a tint of fresh human blood himself once in awhile. He was definitely not in the position to be accusing Silas.

"Stop this, brother." Damon said, his voice firm but his anger had dissipated some. Silas scoffed. "You won't have to concern yourself with me that much longer, Damon. I'll be leaving the stupid town very shortly." To find my sweet beloved, Silas had forgotten to say that part. Damon shook his head.

"This is your home, brother. You won't be going anywhere." Damon insisted and Silas re-thought about killing him. "Mystic Falls is not my home." He said, he was speaking the truth. His him was known as Greenland now, were the first settlers had lived. Damon gestured towards the bookcase that had just fell.

"No? What about these? Your precious diaries of memories of your feelings for Elena? For Katherine? For our long departed mother?" He asked, his voice wavering. His usually cocky demeanor was gone and maybe, just maybe, this lovely speech would have pulled on Stefan Salvatore's undead heart strings. But not Silas's. People of Mystic Falls had to move on from Stefan's life. He was no more. Silas brought the tin trash can from the bathroom and set it in front of him. He glided over, past Damon, and picked up on the brown leather cover diaries that Stefan had kept for his faithful and childish memories. He read one title out loud.

"2009." The year that Stefan had saw and met Elena. Another one. "1864." The year Katherine, Katerina, had waltzed into their boring lives. "1855." The year Stefan's and Damon's mother had died from a severe illness. He took all the copies of leather and ripped all of the pages out of the book lining. He felt Damon flinch beside him. He was beginning to notice that this was not the brother he knew. Silas chucked all of them into the trash can and reached for his lighter he kept to light up his cigarettes. He grabbed the left over Tequila bottle that he had stile form the bar when he caught Tracy. He slurred the rest all over the pages and the only sound was the liquor wetting then melt and fall of the pages. He popped open his lighter and threw it into the diaries.

It lit up with a bang and Silas stepped away while grabbing his leather jacket from the back of Stefan's chair. Damon Salvatore's face was lit up by the flames of his brother's willful words. Silas stared at his brown, almost black eyes.

"Stefan Salvatore doesn't exist anymore." Silas said and left out the attic door. It wasn't like he was lying, he might have the face of Stefan but it was Silas. Stefan Salvatore was surely dead.


End file.
